That's how I imagine this gentleman felt, except that instead of being the smartest man in the room, he was the best-looking. This was only heightened by the fact that most of the men at the event were, as I said, aggressively average -- like, community-college average.

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Don't get me wrong. Most of the men were hilarious -- unintentionally, that is. One gentleman, for example, interrupted me halfway throughout our introductions and asked with a smile, "Are you a Greek god? Flattered, and with a bit of beer foam dribbling out of my mouth, I politely declined. I know how that scenario usually ends: By the end of the night, I had met about 16 different men, and I can tell you that the look of disappointment that flashed on their faces upon seeing me never got old.

I tried my best to be my most "top" self like trying to polish a turd, as they say. Alas, despite my greatest efforts, I was not a very convincing top.


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I might have had better luck convincing them I was a a very lost and confused lesbian. There is nothing speedy about speed dating. I was bottoming out after talking to guy after guy for four hours.

By the time I got to the handsomest man in the room, I could tell we were both exhausted. I was tired from putting on the performance of my life, and he was tired from all the normals he'd had to speak to. I had no desire to impress or pretend to be interested in anything that wasn't sleep -- or pizza, or a burrito, or both at the same time -- which is a shame, because this gentleman was like a surprisingly nice dessert section in a really bad buffet. I could still tell he had a great personality to match his Prince Eric looks.

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Unfortunately, we were both the human equivalents of melted ice at the bottom of a cooler previously filled with beer, dreams and the empty promise of a good time. Speed dating, even the kind tailored toward your preferred sexual role, is a great alternative to the more obvious option: I also wear a dress which is floor-length, but only at the back. At the front its sits knee high, which turns out to be a mistake, as I have to try my best not to flash everyone during the many legs-crossed, on-the-floor exercises that come later.

It was Guy who had the idea to combine tantra with dating when he noticed a pattern in clients telling him they found it hard to meet people in New York. But, he also realised something else: That is what Tantra is about and it forms the backbone of the philosophy around Tantric dating too. I might as well have walked in on my parents doing it. The men are handed empty pouches, each with a number on the front, which they too wear as jewellery for the evening. As we move into the candlelit studio, we remove our shoes and are asked to stand in a traditional puja circle. With phones on silent and in bags, ridding us of that electronic prop we so often turn to in challenging social situations, we continue to bask a little longer in that awkward silence until Guy kickstarts the night.

I count 36 of us. We start by doing a school-like energy experiment, led by Guy, before going around the room, introducing ourselves and saying what we want to get from the evening. As does the late something man that she towers over next to her. My money is on them hooking up. Despite the palpable nerves in the room, everyone seems to give an honest and straight answer. All silliness — apart from the Cheshire Cat grin I wear to hide my awkwardness — is left at the door.

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